Lately it seems like a lot of people are talking more about the nervous system, especially in mental health circles. Most of us probably don’t really know much beyond the basic information we learned in high school biology.  While we tend to think of our brains and our bodies as distinct and separate parts, the reality is that what happens in our consciousness has a real impact in our bodies, and what happens in our bodies can impact our daily lived experiences. This is especially noticeable in the nervous system, and how nervous system responses influence our emotions and behaviors. 

The simplest way to think of the nervous system is by breaking it into two parts: the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, what are often referred to as the “fight or flight” and “rest and digest” responses. Our brains have intricate systems that help us to identify whether we are in a state of danger or safety, often without our conscious thought. When we experience a trigger for danger, our sympathetic nervous system comes online and takes over in the fight or flight response.

Our pupils widen, our saliva dries up, our heart races, our digestive system shuts down, our airways widen, and we experience a huge dump of adrenaline. Our prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for complex reasoning skills, goes offline. Thousands of years ago, this was a pretty effective survival response, since taking the time to think about whether to run from the bear or fight the bear might result in getting eaten. 

If you’ve ever watched a horror or thriller, you’ve probably noticed some or all of these responses in your body during the movie. Usually, when the lights come back on, this feeling subsides and we slowly return to a more relaxed state because we are aware that the danger was on the screen and not in the theater. 

There are times, however, when our brain may not be able to tell that the danger is over, or that the perceived threat is not an actual threat–the difference between being in the theater watching the action, versus being the character experiencing the event. When this happens, we can get stuck in that sympathetic response. If you’re wondering why it matters so much that we get stuck here, let’s think back to what sympathetic arousal does in our bodies, and also consider what it means to be stuck here and unable to access our parasympathetic system.

First, recall that experience of adrenaline dumping, widening pupils, and racing heart. While these responses are functional to protect us from danger, prolonged responses can cause significant damage to our health. Also, consider that our digestive system shuts down and our saliva dries up: two of the most important components to maintaining the sustenance necessary to stay healthy and alive. This also means that we have a hard time bringing our prefrontal cortex back online and may struggle with complex brain tasks like planning, processing information, communicating effectively with others, and consolidating memory. It’s pretty hard to engage in daily life without these skills. 

Parasympathetic Regulation

Fortunately, there are many tools we can use to return to a regulated state, where we are able to successfully access the parasympathetic “rest and digest” state, which also happens to be our socially engaged state. This is when we are at our best: we feel calm and peaceful, we enjoy being around others, our body experiences minimal discomfort, and our minds function effectively to learn, think, remember, and grow. 

Breathing exercises and grounding activities are the most commonly discussed, and highly effective coping strategies to return to parasympathetic regulation. When it comes to breath work, there are a wide variety out there:

• • The “Ha” breath:  inhale through the nose, filling your lungs completely, and make a “ha” sound while slowly breathing out your mouth; 
• • Box breathing: which involves creating an inhale, holding the inhale, exhale, and holding on the exhale, with an even count of four for each step (or count of five, or whatever number of seconds you are comfortable with and able to maintain). 
• • Deep belly breathing: drawing deep breaths through your diaphragm, feeling your belly extend, and then contracting your belly and feeling it sink back in on the inhale
• • 5-4-3-2-1 grounding: using the five senses, identify 5 things in your environment that you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste. 
• • Category grounding: identify a category (Disney movies, animals that begin with the letter “A,” cities in the US, etc.) and name as many things in this category as you can. 
• • Physical grounding: pushing your feet into the ground or floor beneath you. This could be a slow activity in which you are activating your muscles to slowly push into the floor, or a more active and energetic movement like stomping. 
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• Humming and physically shaking (shaking out tension in your arms, legs, torso, full body) are also great activities to move tension through your body and return to a more restful state. There are tons of tools that can help, so use what works for you. If you need more options, it may be helpful to find a therapist with experience in trauma or somatic work who can help. 

Parasympathetic doesn’t always mean “regulated”

Our bodies are designed to protect us not only from outside threats, but internal threats as well. If we stay in an activated sympathetic response for too long, we are likely to exceed the capacity of our bodies to maintain that state. When this happens, our bodies can choose to enter a parasympathetic “freeze” or shutdown response. This also occurs when the danger is life-threatening and when a fight or flee response does not feel like an option. 

In this freeze response state, many of our sensory systems go offline. We become unable to notice physical sensations within our bodies, we may feel numb or emotionless, unmotivated, socially isolated or socially disengaged, and struggle to regulate our sleep (lots of people find they sleep significantly more than normal). We can think of this as a response to total system overwhelm: “If I don’t have any more input, I won’t get worse.”

There are times when shutdown is a helpful response (times of acute stress that don’t have any problem-solving options, times of imminent danger, harmful environments that we are unable to leave). However, this is also a state that we are not meant to stay in. Prolonged stuckness in parasympathetic shutdown will cause us to experience symptoms of depression: lack of energy or motivation, apathy, hopelessness, fatigue, brain fog, and more.

In order to move out of this shutdown, we need to attempt to activate the system and move it into a more social and open state. There are several ways to do this:

1. 1. First, you may need to acknowledge your body’s need for a break from stress, and give your body permission to take that break. Sometimes we prolong the shutdown simply because we refuse to accept that our body has been too overwhelmed for too long. 
2. 2. If you’ve been in a state of shutdown for a while, you may also need to give yourself permission to move out of this state. You can say to yourself, “It is okay to start activity again. I am allowed to take my time to start re-engaging. I have the ability to cope with new activity.”
3. 3. Any activity is good activity to start activating the system again. I encourage you to pick an activity that feels manageable, and that you would normally enjoy (arts and crafts, going out with friends, playing games, spending time in nature, self–care like bubble baths or massages….) It’s okay if it doesn’t  feel as good as it normally would; remember, your body is trying to get used to being active and engaged again.
4. 4. Connect with safe supports. Moving back into a regulated state is a lot easier with the support from others. Trusted friends or family members can be a source of gentle activity and co-regulation to help move out of a shutdown, whether we spend time in an activity together, spend time talking, or just being present with one another. 
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Overall, it is important to know that while there are times when we may feel hijacked by our sensations, we can be empowered to take steps to feel safe and relaxed again. Another way of being empowered to return to safety is by seeking professional support from a licensed therapist to provide additional support and resources.